How Do you Divide Up the Household Chores?

I want to talk about chores. Not the most fascinating of topics, but one that - like it or not - we spend a lot of our time and energy dealing with. As a parent of four children, aged between 16 and 8, there are always piles of washing to tackle, dirty bowls under beds, stray soccer shin pads left in random places and half-finished books across most surfaces. It's like fighting a fire - I sort out one area only to find chaos somewhere else. Keeping on top of things as well as working and all the other life admin can feel overwhelming.

For me, a tidy, clean(ish) house makes me feel calmer and more in control. My kids play better when there's not too many toys everywhere, and being organised means we spend less time managing all the 'stuff' and more time on nice things. Simplicity and slowness are a lot easier to achieve when you're not tripping over Lego pieces or wrestling mounds of laundry. But this didn't seem to be happening. I was back to the fire-fighting. So, last year I sat my family down and asked them to help.

Here's how we made things feel a bit more balanced in my house. I'd love to hear how you share out the chores in your household.

Household chores audit

To begin with I made a long list of all the jobs that need doing around the house, and garden, including caring for our various animals. I categorised these according to whether they were daily jobs, weekly, monthly or less regular. This list covered two sides of A4 paper and was quite an eye-opener for my kids, and even for my husband. It showed that it was simply unfeasible for one or two people to do all this, and that we needed to work as a team.

Make a plan

I'm a great list-maker, so the next step for me was to devise a plan that meant everyone knew what needed doing, when. For this I turned to the Flylady. Founded by Marla Cilley, this website is full of great resources for organising, decluttering and keeping on top of cleaning. I found a weekly cleaning routine (similar here), printed it off and stuck it onto the fridge. Although I was still doing the majority of the jobs on this list it was useful not to have to think about them, and for others to have something to check in case they wanted to help.

Assign specific tasks

I realised that some of the weekly jobs were things my kids could easily manage, so we have a Saturday Chores list that goes up every weekend. I write down the jobs that need doing, and people sign up to the one they'd like (or least not like) to do. You could let people chose, like I do, or simply assign tasks according to who can best complete them. This has become part of our weekend now, and although I do have to remind them sometimes there's no big arguments or objections. It's just what we do on a Saturday. They still have daily jobs that they all do too, like putting away clean clothes, emptying part of the dishwasher and making their beds.

Ask for help

Communicating our needs in all areas of life can be tricky. Throw in some teenagers and busy workloads and sometimes resentment can start to build up. Before you get to this point, try to ask for help. Use positive language and try to get your kids on board by showing them how much nicer it is for them to be in a tidy bedroom. Avoid using blaming language like, 'You never put the bins out', and instead say 'It would be really great if you could remember to put the bins out because I'm doing ---- (insert other chore)'. If you start expecting your kids to help out from a young age it'll be easier when they get older as you won't be suddenly asking them to do something new. Small kids can help pair up the odd socks, fold the towels or pick up their clothes.

I'm not saying I've got this right, by any means, but these tips have really made things easier in my house. What do you do about helping with chores? Any advice for people feeling overwhelmed?

(Post by Lulah)